Crawling and biting and hopping oh my!

To begin, I think it necessary to describe the part of Melbourne in which I reside.

I live at the base of what is known as "The Hills".

The suburbs surounding the base of Mt. Dandenong.

Note: I said Mt. Dandenong, not Dandenong. 2 very different places...

Mt. Dandenong

Dandenong

These burbs are the type of burbs where you can drive down the road and have suburban estates on your left, and sheep/cows/crops/national park on your right.

So needless to say, we have trees.

With trees, come bugs.

And other assorted creepy crawlies.

As we are now entering that time of year when the temperature drops, the rain starts to fall more frequently.

When it rains, we all stay indoors for shelter, right?

Well, so do the creepy crawlies.

Husband is an arachnophobe.

Which is very inconvenient if you've been born in Australia, and live in The Hills.

Because removing spiders the size of tennis balls is at least a weekly event in our house.

So a couple of days ago, Husband calls out from the kitchen "can you get rid of this spider?"

Note: he says this while heading towards it with the biggest can of Mortein you've ever seen!

Of course, when I see him with the can, I have to intervene.

I see no good reason to kill the gigantic and hairy little spidey, unless he's poisonous.

Generally we just get Huntsmans, they're a dime a dozen and completely harmless, while also being absolutely huge and hairy.

Ain't he cute?!

I'll usually just put a container over it, slide a piece of cardboard underneath, then put it outside.

Unless of course it's decided that the most comfortable spot in our home, is on the cornice....

Damn you corince!

If that's the case, I tend to just let them stay until they find a place that is easier for the capturing.

I can see you.

I once had 2 Huntsmen in the lounge, both on the cornice, I called one Steve, and the other, his cousin (obviously) was Dave.

Husband killed Dave.

Steve was never the same again.

Anyhoo.

So a couple of days ago, Husband went to kill this spider with the giant can of Mortein.

I said "is it a Huntsman? If it is, don't kill it".

"No, definitely not a Huntsman..."

"Then what is it?"

"It looks like a White Tail."

"Then kill it."

Bitey little bastard.

At this point our Housie came home, and immediately pointed out the second spider on the wall behind Husband.

I got up and checked them both out, the one on the wall was just a baby Huntsman, no bigger than 5cm, so Housie put him outside.

The first spider I noticed, was the same as the kind that once bit me.

In my sleep.

Inside my sleeve.

Yuck.

I pointed this out.

Housie had a look and said "Yep, definitely a White Tail".

WTF!

I've been bitten by a White Tail?!

I thought they were poisonous or whatever?!

Guess not.

When Husband heard the words "definitely a White Tail" he began to spray.

Housie finished it off with her shoe.

So having avoided an untimely death (as Husband would see it) all was well again in the world.

Last night, I was home alone, sitting on the couch with P-Jiggy, watching some TV.

When I saw something black and creepy on the floor near the wall.

Thinking it was another White Tail, I got my container and cardboard and went in for the capture.

But when I got there, it was just a Grass Hopper.

Grass Hopper saw me coming and went straight under the couch.

Crap.

I thought, oh well, he's not hurting anyone, and he looks happy under there, I'll just let him be.

I went to bed.

Then.

I heard a chirp.

Crap.

I got up and moved the couch.

Armed with my container and cardboard, I proceeded to try to capture him.

Note: Grass Hoppers are so named, because the little bastards HOP!

So obviously my attempts at capturing him would have been most hilarious thing to witness.

Every time I put the container down, he hopped forward 10cm.

It was in this manner, that I chased him around the lounge room.

I though I had him.

I slid the piece of cardboard in, and headed to the door.

Then I heard a chirp.

From under the couch.

And noticed that there was no hopping coming from the container.

Crap.

So that's where he still sits (I assume), under my couch.

In unrelated news I'd like to officially welcome our newest pet to the family.

I call him Hoppy Von Grasserton.

Hoppy Von Grasserton.

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